2003/07/30
heng lei.. din reali get 2 slp last night.. yawnin the whole of today.. was pratically stoning.. at least completed my visual hmwrk... tho one whole night burnt.. keke.. n at least its not as bad as last wk's.. so.. hmm.. quite pleased w my wrk.. =)
hrd somethin abt BL today.. weird eh... she that kind of huo se oso got pple wan... sigh... why r human beings so dumb at times.. anyways... anyways..
sleepy...
yawns...
nights...
*kyLie* posted @ 23:23
2003/07/29
does it ever matter? does it ever matter 2 you at all? i hate myself 4 comparing.. i hate myself for pushing myself so far off..
i'm losing balance.. i'm losing my stand.. can you pls help me let go of the pain? i'm not asking 4 understandin.. not asking 4 attention.. i'm just asking 4 e courage to let go of anything that pains.. cuz its really painful.. sometimes.. i think i can feel it.. i can feel it when something's amiss.. i used 2 make noise.. i used 2 quarrel.. but i'm 2 tired of all these noises.. yah.. i kept quiet.. very quiet.. but i know i cant go far from here.. someday i wont be able 2 take it.. someday i will just have to force myself to let go right.. why didnt i have the courage? why..
jeff.. i wished i could be like you too.. much much more than u knew..
*kyLie* posted @ 00:26
2003/07/28
gota tok 2 them abt it.. something i nvr wan 2 tok abt.. it wil b alrite right.. a kinda barrier that i got to get over b4 being able 2 tok to others about it.. i cant choose not to tell right.. anyway i'm the one who started screaming for help.. urrgghh..
*kyLie* posted @ 19:53
2003/07/27
beginning to feel the pain..
beginning to feel the tears...
beginning to feel the fears...
again.. again...
beginning to question mysekf if i had force myself too far..
beginning to wonder how long more i can last..
beginning to worry abt where all these will lead me to..
*kyLie* posted @ 18:37
2003/07/26
Jesus promised that our prayers will be heard and answered; "Ask and you will receive, and your joy will be complete" (John 16:24). But as welift up our requests, we can sometimes become confused by God's response. We often perceive His answers to be slow in arriving, or we're disappointed with His reply; we even begin to doubt if God even hears our prayers..
Our loving Father always hears our prayers - and He always answers. His answer to prayer is either yes, no, or wait...and sometimes He answers with, "Here my child, I have something much better for you."
God's view of our need (and the entire world) is much higher and grander than our own. We generally see our need as the solution to some short term problem, but our true need is always to grow by drawing closer and loving Him more. Let's take our eyes off the crutches we think will "fix" our problem and look instead to the One who is calling, "Trust Me and come into My presence as you arise and walk!"
got dis frm yan.. thnx pal.. gotten wad u tryin 2 tel me..
*kyLie* posted @ 14:09
school
another whole chunk of work.. i told you it will never ever end... the next pile will come the minute you finish the previous one.. its just a cycle.. going on and on and on... urghh.. very busy... but hmm.. not too bad i must say.. stressful yah.. it is... and seriously i need more training than this.. still very raw.. well.. i'm coping... and pushing again...
sch mates r getting real boring.. i'm never the kind who gets along well with everyone all the time.. been keeping quiet when they start talking.. some childish comments? some dumb topics..? erkk.. i'l just leave them alone.. too bad they just happen 2b my usual cliche..
mum&dad
quite gan dong.. i always thought they dont really bother abt me.. as in they always think i'm independent enough to handle my own stuff... hmm... guess in actual fact.. i'm not as strong as they wanted me to be.. like the way dad passed me the money that morning.. i didnt ask him at all.. he just left the cash on the table.. and he was like.'naa.. go and get the stuff u needa buy.' keke.. was so happy.. wanted 2 kp that note in my wallet.. not even plannin 2 use it.. BUT.. some idiot in my class stole the money.. URggghHH.. dont ever let me fnd out who that idiot is..
dear2
work so hard.. tried so hard 2 get him back.. mayb not really as stable yet.. but i'm getting kinda sick of this whole thing.. mayb its just like what everyone told me.. i wont cherish it if i really gotten it.. sad but true... or mayb i am just tired.. literally tired.. sch wrk piling.. loadsa assignments..
centro
keke.. met dis shuaige at centro e other day.. heh.. not very gd lookin tho' but.. he got the bright sunny smile.. ; ) yar.. centro.. w huiwen n grace.. kinda sian with grace ard.. not fun de.. stil miss e times when me n huiwen wil go chiongin 2gether.. wensi too.. but now we're kinda scattered.. wensi in sim.. huiwen locked in ntu.. hahz.. pathetic her in her pathetic hostel.. n me.. busy w nafa..
end
just doin things i shud do.. wake up.. go sch.. lunch.. sch wrk.. slp.. yah.. everyday that is.. kinda monotonous.. urmm.. at least i'm looking forward 2 school... yah.. not that bad anyway.. ('',
*kyLie* posted @ 13:53
2003/07/23
tired..
tons of sch wrk.. never ending wrk.. re-do after the 3-4hrs of effort last night.... urgh..
needa take a rest n breathe.. i need fresh air.. sigh..
dear2..
he was here yesterday.. i like him 2b around me.. like the way he hug me 2 slp.. last night...
things seem 2 b more stable.. stil i'l b praying 4 e best.. for things 2 remain this way... keeping my fingers crossed..
*kyLie* posted @ 23:24
2003/07/21
went seoul garden today.. havent been there 4 quite some time.. dont even remember the last time i was there.. but quite shiok.. heh.. missed the feeling of having rowdy lunches with classmates.. not enough people though.. only the 4 of us.. quiet yet noisy? hmm.. hahahz.. actually it awiz gets kinda noisy when me n von r around.. awiz alittle more noisy than others in class.. still depends on mood lah.. guess i do get very quiet on certain times too..
gettin on fine with sch.. not doin as well.. but guess i'm improving.. loadsa work to do loadsa deadlines to meet.. gota rush abit.. kinda stressful but.. well.. i'm enjoying it.. tiring.... but i like school.. hehe... really i do... and the thought of dear2 actually boost the whole thing.. yapz.. things seem much easier with him around.. =)
hmm missing dear2 abit.. juz saw him yesterday.. sigh... not free tmr.. not free on wed... guess i only get 2 see him on weekends le.. den somemore his sunday is family day.. cannot go and disturb him one... hai.. hopefully can get 2 c him soon.. actually tot of meetin him.. he wanna stay in camp.. meet him oso dno do wad right.. think aredi oso sian.. *shrugs*no idea why i wil awiz get that anxious when it comes to him.. will try my best 2 make him happier.. he dun like me 2 b that dependent on him.. i aways tot i am an independent girl until i met him.. i will just get worried.. when i dont hear from him.. jitters and stuff.. goodness..i cant be like this right.. i got work 2 do.. concentrate on sch wrk.. everything will be fine.. it will be right.. pray hard.. keepin my fingers crossed... urgh.. persistance ger...
juz another plain monday...
*kyLie* posted @ 17:31
never really been updating this blog.. just pasting stuff i read from somewhere in.. stuff i like.. stuff which i find interesting... yah.. been kinda busy recently.. mentally n physically shagged.. loadsa sch wrk.. n loadsa matters of e heart.. bgr matters... sigh.. pushing myself on.. pushing myself 2 go on n on n on.. juz simply cuz i needa go on...
tried cuttin my wrist e other day... i myself was shocked too.. never thought i will do things like this ever to myself.. i always thought i actually love myself too much to hurt a single inch of me.. yet.. so dumbly i did.. dont wan myself to do it ever again..
had a conflict with daniel.. sigh.. over the same thing.. alot of them thought i must be going mad.. seriously i dont really think i am.. just that i am always a strong believer in myself.. and i seldom heed advices.. definately there wil b time when i wil regret n wished that i would for once listen 2 others.. nah.. thats just not me.. told him abt how i feel abt my dear2.. dear might not always be mine.. or not even mine n mine alone.. i wil still love him al the same.. this is just a feeling from within.. something i dno hwo to curb and something i wont want to control.. cuz i really do love him.. n seriously i do.. love him.. alot alot alot.. told dan i dont need scoldings.. i dont need advices..
juz b a fren, juz b there.. juz by bein ard.. its really much much more than enough.. i dont want to lose you too.. you are a good friend..
*kyLie* posted @ 00:03
2003/07/20
Peace is what they tell me
Love am I unholy
Lies are what they tell me
Despise you that control me
The peace is dead in my soul
I have blamed the reason for
My intentions poor
Yes I'm the one who
The only one who
Would carry on this far
Torn, I'm filthy
Born in my own misery
Stole all that you gave me
Control you claim you save me
The peace is dead in my soul
I have blamed the reason for
My intentions poor
Yes I'm the one who
The only one who
Would carry on this far
*kyLie* posted @ 23:54
Your Favorite color is the "Key to Your Sexual Life" The clothes you wear, your home furnishings and the car you drive all give clues to your sexual personality. The key is the colors you select for your possessions. Most people claim they haven't a favorite color. But look around you, and you'll notice a pattern, especially in your clothing and home decor. The predominant color for you is the one that appears most frequently-it's the one that mirrors the sexual you.
A panel of psychologists, explained the association between color and sexual patterns.
BLUE:
Lovers of blue are wonderful sex partners. They are sincere,
affectionate and sensitive to their partner's needs. They consider lovemaking a fine art and their approach is elegant. Men who love blue are like concert pianists,delicately ravaging their partner like they would play a baby grand. Women in the blue category enjoy sex to the fullest. They are exciting partners but their passion may be compared to a tidal waveer than firery aggression. Both women and men enjoy foreplay and the aftermath of lovemaking, as much as the sex act itself. In marriage a blue person is a wonderful mate-never seeking outside interests.
*kyLie* posted @ 15:18
2003/07/16
Insight of the Week
Are you forgiving enough? If you learn to let go of your grudges, you're likely to see an upswing in every aspect of your life � from interactions with family and friends to seemingly random twists of fate that benefit you.
Stewing over an argument or incident, no matter how small, can fill you with a lot of negative energy. Energy that can be extremely draining and surround you with a negative aura. Ever notice how people, and even animals, can sense when something is off with you � even if you assure them nothing is?
People react to negative vibes, so learn to let them go. Keep in mind that everyone makes mistakes � including you. Don't sweat the small stuff and try to accept people as they are � faults and all. When you think about it, is it really that tragic for your friend to have shown up 20 minutes late, or for your co-worker to have eaten your sandwich from the office fridge? Sure, there are times when you should let your irritation be known. But by addressing issues at the time they happen, and learning to let go of that negative energy by forgiving people, you set yourself up to move on toward a greater sense of peace and happiness � with yourself and the world around you.
*kyLie* posted @ 22:32
2003/07/07
What Finding Nemo Character are You? brought to you by Quizilla
*kyLie* posted @ 18:08
2003/07/02
down again.. e panic attacks... e shiverin fears.. jumpling emotions... floodin tots..
was like, where's gary.. luckily he replied.. i mt juz cant cope..
sometimes i wonder whats wrong too... no rhyme or reason..
juz gotten knock down...
*kyLie* posted @ 00:30