2005/02/28
gd luck la huh....
*kyLie* posted @ 02:23
2005/02/20
was thinkin abt dreams.. abt aspirations.. abt passion.. haha.. 'kinda childish' tot myself after i told someone abt it.. are elements like these impt in a real world... hw many pp reali achieve their dreams... obtain their goals.. or even hv passion 4 their job.. i must b stil living in e fairytale age.. where we dreams abt being policemen 2 catch e thieves.. being a doctor 2 hlp e sickly.. being a king 2 rule a country.. rem those 'what do you want to be when you grow up' compo al of us wrote? how many of them reali came thru.. hmm.. but i noe of an example.. but tt is if she nvr lied.. my prev doc.. she said she knew tt she's gg b a doc since young.. so all along she was v clear abt which route she gotta take 2 become one... sigh.. but do u reali noe u r gg 2b wadeva u'r 2dae? i dreamt of being a President.. den gradually as i grow.. i realised tt president is juz a title.. i can b a president in the student council too.. haha.. so disappointing.. once tot there's oni 1 n juz 1 president in a country... well well.. fair enuf.. i was stil a kid then...
i wan a job tt i wont get sick of.. i wan 2 do somethin tt i wil smile doin.. i actuali learnt alot at IDC.. saw pp who r holdin reasonable positions.. not e high flyers kind.. but at least sm sort of a position.. dun c one hwo's reali happy.. some threw their temper on others when they get irritated w their job.. some brought personal life into wrk.. some didnt even noe their jobscope well.. mangerial donkeys kpt wantin performance frm e lower floors.. not realizin tt nothin was done 2 booast e employees' morale.. part timers.. like me.. tried al our best nt 2 tk things seriously.. after all its juz a stepping stone into e society.. or mayb 2 some not even one..
nothin is wrong w sucha n organisatn.. cuz mayb things like this happen everywhere... i mean.. there'l stil b pp who r doin stuff they dread.. tts y they'r alwiz pullin a long face at wrk.. i dun wan 2 c myself in tt kinda situatn.. or m i 2 naive 2 tink tt i wil reali get somethin tt i reali like.. when i m stil nt 100% certain abt wad i reali wan..
confused still i am.. but i'm stil glad tt i learnt lessons frm e route i'm passin by now.. i saw pp's mistakes so tt i wont do it in e future.. i made mistakes n get reprimanded so tt when i start on my career path, i wil b more alert.. i saw prob in leadershp so tt i noe communicatn is nv 2 much betwn 2 different floors... n humble as i try 2b.. there's stil loads more 4 me 2 learn...
n yes.. at turnin-23, i'm still learning... way 2 go ger.. (C;
*kyLie* posted @ 04:27
2005/02/19
DO YOU
Like to give hugs?: like 2 recieve more... heh
Like to walk in the rain?: used 2 luv it.. mayb i stil do...
Sleep with or without clothes on?: w/o more comfy ehz.. luckily i got my own rm..
Prefer black or blue pens?: blackkk... no reason..
Dress up on Halloween?: did once at wrk.. last last yr halloween
Have a job?: hmm urmmm arrrhhh.. currently shud b dun hv bah
Sleep on your side, tummy or back?: back.. curled up w my bolster..
Think you're attractive?: ehemmm.. hahhaz.. i super confident de... =P
Want to marry?: recently abit la.. mayb old le.. sigh~
Have a goldfish?: nope..
Have stuffed animals?: winnie ther poohsss...
WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT
Piercings: tryin 2 collect moorree.. hee
Make-up: wrk.. bobianz...
Drinking: bailey's.. hiakz..
Do you think there is a person for everyone: if evryone u luv will luv u, there's lotsa true loves in e world...
Do you believe in love at first sight: hmm.. i'm nt tt lucky yetz... nt jus yet..
Do you think you can ever love a person forever?: nothin's 4eva my dear..
*kyLie* posted @ 23:19
2005/02/18
saw dis somewhr..
this is like so heart-wrenching; what aborted babies wanna tell their mummies. ='(
Message:
Message: Dear Mommy, I am in Heaven now...I so wanted to beyour littlegirl. I don't quite understand what hashappened.I was so excited when I began realizingmyexistance. I was in a dark, yet comfortableplace.I saw I had fingers and toes. I was prettyfaralong in my developing, yet not nearready toleave my surroundings. I spent most ofmy timethinking or sleeping. Even from myearliest days,I felt a special bonding between you andme.Sometimes I heard you crying and I criedwith you.Sometimes you would yell or scream,then cry. Iheard Daddy yelling back. I was sad, andhoped youwould be better soon. I wondered whyyou cried somuch.One day you cried almost all of the day. Ihurtfor you. I couldn't imagine why you wereso unhappy.That same day, the most horrible thinghappened. Avery mean Monster came into that warm,comfortableplace I was in. I was so scared, I beganscreaming, but you never once tried tohelp me.Maybe you never heard me.The monster got closer and closer as I wasscreaming and screaming, "Mommy,Mommy, help meplease! Mommy, help me." Completeterror is all Ifelt. I screamed and screamed until Ithought Icouldn't anymore. Then the monsterstartedripping my arms off. It hurt so bad; thepain ican never explain. It didn't stop. Oh, how Ibegged it to stop. I screamed in horror asitripped my leg off. Though I was in suchcompletepain, I was dying. I knew I would neversee yourface or hear you say how much you loveme.I wanted to make all your tears go away. Ihad somany plans to make you happy. Now Icouldn't, allmy dreams were shattered. Though I wasin utterpain and horror, I felt the pain of my heartbreaking, above all.I wanted more than anything to be yourdaughter.No use now, for I was dying a painfuldeath. Icould only imagine the terrible thingsthat theyhad done to you. I wanted to tell you thatI loveyou before I was gone, but I didn't knowthe wordsyou could understand. And soon, I nolonger hadthe breath to say them; I was dead. I feltmyselfrising. I was being carried by a hugeangel into abig beautiful place. I was still crying, butthephysical pain was gone.The angel took me away to a wonderfulplace. ThenI was happy. I asked the angel what wasthe thingwas that killed me. Heanswered, "Abortion. I amsorry, for I know how it feels." I don't knowwhatabortion is, I guess that's the name of themonster.I'm writing to say that I love you and totell youhow much I wanted to be your little girl. Itriedvery hard to live. I wanted to live. I hadthewill, but I couldn't; the monster was toopowerful.It sucked my arms and legs off and finallygot allof me. It was impossible to live. I justwantedyou to know I tried to stay with you. I didn'twant to die.Also, Mommy, please watch out for thatabortionmonster.Mommy, I love you and I would hate foryou to gothrough the kind of pain I did. Please becareful.Love,Your Baby Girl
*kyLie* posted @ 01:58
2005/02/17
wad a vday.. spent almost e whole day in sch tryin 2 catch up w stuff frm here n there... spent 1/2 of it tokin 2 my lecturers.. abt my horrible attendance n.. disciplinary rubbish.. hehe.. no disclipine.. no commitm.. she says.. sigh.. dun bother 2 tel her much la.. seems like she's always rite.. well den.. i'l shuddap... let it b wadeva way she tinks it is..
terrible wk 4 me.. rushin here n tthere like nobody;s business.. tryin 2 finish up wadeva i can finish.. meetin deadlines... lookin 4 lecturers.. try grab abit of slp here n there... stil as restless.. cant even slp properly... luckily i not wrkin.. haha.. tink i'l b half dead by now if i'm stil wrkin.. mayb even dead...
urghh.. den my stupid sim card dno wad prob again.. 2nd time le.. last time cant sms.. now totally cant wrk... sigh.. no time 2 bother la... tink i shud b able 2 survive w/o e hp 4 sm time i guess.. hmmm.. i wil try... til assessm over den say la.. hai...
*struggles*
its nt ez...
*kyLie* posted @ 23:48
2005/02/10
re-thinkin abt dis messed-up life of mine again.. nothin reali seems 2b rite... shud i stop bein so so so stubborn... or shud i juz wake up frm my dream n well.. juz leave evrything alone.. gettin numb n stuff.. is this e norm? a phrase evryone goes thru.. yah.. tt stupid movie.. god has his own arragement 4 evryone.. n when things go wrong.. i mean.. everything... and when i hve no clue hw 2 pick up bits n pieces.. who helps? sigh.. keep pushin myself jus dun wrk al e time.. m i rite... walkin w a time bomb in my mouth.. who cares anyway... push myself once n again.. 2 go on... smilin.. yah.. smiles pushed me thru almost al fears.. but when will al dis b over...
so much questns.. where r a e answers...
*kyLie* posted @ 07:54
2005/02/04
wad can i say.. things changes everyday.. smtimes tings happen so fast tt u dun hv enuf time 2 even realize it.. but well.. nothin can eva stop us frm goin on.. even tho its nt ez..currently tryin 2 take a quick break frm everythin. .tho' at times it jus get so tiring.. slowly pickin up the pieces.. recoverin back e stable smooth flowin life.. guess i'm sm1 who always noe wad i wan at al pt of times.. best fren always say i hve an especially exciting life.. well.. tts certainly nt somethin tt i'd wan.. i need a life smooth sailin.. yar.. tts more impt i guess... dun wan al e rollercoasters' rides.. hate 2 c myself always worryin.. dun xpect anythin more.. wun ask 4 much.. as long as everythin is done in e name of happiness..
*kyLie* posted @ 16:24
To realize The value of a sister Ask someone Who doesn't have one.
To realize The value of ten years: Ask a newly Divorced couple.
To realize The value of four years: Ask a graduate.
To realize The value of one year: Ask a student who Has failed a final exam.
To realize The value of nine months: Ask a mother who gave birth to a still born.
To realize The value of one month: Ask a mother who has given birth to a premature baby.
To realize The value of one week: Ask an editor of a weekly newspaper.
To realize The value of one hour: Ask the lovers who are waiting to Meet.
To realize The value of one minute:&nb sp; Ask a person Who has missed the train, bus or plane.
To realize The value of one-second: Ask a person Who has survived an accident.
To realize The value of one millisecond: Ask the person who has won a silver medal in the Olympics.
To realize the value of a friend: Lose one. Time waits For no one. Treasure every moment you have.
*kyLie* posted @ 16:22
2005/02/01
always tot i'm different.. not exactly special but unique.. tt i see things differently.. n stubbornly, i always WILL conclude tt i m right 4 every judgem i made.. but den again, who m i 2 judge anybody.. life taught me many valuable lessons tt'd made me wad i m 2day.. n yes, i'm proud of wad i'd been thru, e gds n bads, n real proud of wad i am.. stil there's always e downs.. times when tears stil drop 4 no rhyme n reason.. times when depressn hits.. well, but now i'm much more certain tt there's always a fair share of e joyous times 2.. times when i'm al alone at hm lyin on my bed w a cuppa coffe n a gd bk.. times when i'm w frenz chillin out on coffee sittin ard takin things slow.. times when i'm w dearDear lazing ard nt knowin wad 2do.. times when i get 2 sit ard w best fren dreaming abt al e impossibles... n once awhile i actually miracously start enjoyin things which i dread.. drawin lines aft lines.. rushing projs thru nites without catchin any rest.. drinkin expresso after expresso hopin tt it can keep me awake.. or even standin at e miserable host stand alone at wrk, dealing w al e cruel n demandin guests at e door.. even facing someone i hate seems 2b a much easier chore dis days.. shud i say i'd GROWN up or mayb dis juz another calmin episode of my life.. seriously, i always believe in e sunshine aft e rain, n til now.. i'm stil hopin 4 a beta tm.. life wil always get sweeter, just like hw i met my dearDear.. haha.. dis quoted frm him.. tts wad he always say, he's a real comfort.. no joke.. always hv his own way 2 make my day.. cm 2 tink of it.. life's been gd al dis while.. i'm studyin smthin that i dun exactly dislike.. altho i smhw lost e passion smwhere.. desperately tryin 2find it back.. keke.. n i've got BEST FREN.. alwiz ard durin emergencies.. listens 2 my craps.. tel me abt his..
N i've got sm1 who's always ready 2go thru e roughs w me.. dEARDear nv gives up on me.. prayin hard tt he wont.. haha.. n stil i meet special pp along e way who nv fails 2contribute 2my laughters.. once in awhile i looked back n wonder y were there tt much pains n tears.. n 4 a moment or 2 i'll start cursing all those in e hated list who'd contributed 2 those unhappy memories... den adruptly i'l stop.. n actuali begin thnkin them 4 all e unhappiness.. without e past i wont b wad i m 2day.. without those stuff, i wont b tt brave nw.. thnks guys.. i'm glad tt non matter wad happens.. life stil goes on.. as always..
sometimes when I'm dreamingAnd I dream a lot these daysI meet someone who understandsWho leads me through the hazeIt's only when I'm dreaming that I fall in love for realBut I wake up screaming...
*kyLie* posted @ 01:33